I have worked closely with my Matron Goddess, Hecate, these last few weeks.
Over the nights of the dark moon, I performed a shamanic based ritual spanning three nights.
This was a most wonderful experience, with many insights gifted to me.
Hecate could never be described as a shy Goddess, her presence, will and visions are always strong and vivid.
Working closely with the Dark Mother, has bought about many changes within me.
I am changing and altering.
I have a new perspective, a new outlook on my life, and for the first time in a long time, I feel the strong urge to really live again.
I have a strong desire to make changes on the outside, to reflect the changes happening within.
Hecate is truly a Goddess of change.
Her fiery torches burn away the old, the things we no longer need to carry with us.
As Fire Goddess she purifies and transforms, burning away the old to make room for the new.
She stands at the Crossroads, pointing out the way forwards.
As the Dark Mother, she is also an agent of change, as the Underworld strips us of all the things we use to cover our souls.
She strips back all the outer shields and protections, exposing the very foundations of who we are.
When all that we were has been stripped away, we then return to Hecate The Guide, who leads us back into the light, transformed and renewed.
The ways of the Underworld are perfect, as the Gate Guardians repeat incessantly to Inanna on her descent.
I have done my time in The Underworld.
In fact, I dwelt so long there, that I came to like it.
I found comfort in the shadows, peace at the feet of the Dark Mother.
I now understand that The Underworld is not for the living, that it is time to begin the long ascent, back toward the upper world.
Hecate knows this, and her strong insistence on life, penetrates my very being.
It is time to do, time to act, time to grow.
Having been content, here in my solitary existence for so long, I hear the call of life, beckoning to me.
I am thinking of the future, what do I want to do with the rest of my life?
To begin with, I need to change, change what appears on the outside.
I have decided to get a new tattoo, a symbol given to me by the Goddess herself.
I have also decided to dreadlock my hair, something I have wanted to do my whole life.
I am also considering enrolling in a course of Herbalism, much to the delight and urgings of Hecate.
I understand, too, that the drugs have to go, the pain killers I have become seriously addicted to over the years.
But that is huge and, honestly, scares me more than anything I have ever dealt with.
But yet, I know it has to happen and Hecate will be there to lead me through the darkest path I have ever walked.
After that, who knows?
I will have to wait and see where the road leads.
Right now, I stand at her crossroads.
And finally, I am ready to make the necessary changes, to my life and to myself.
It is time to move on, choose my path in life and begin the long journey forwards, with the bright-burning torches of Hecate lighting the way.